The Day WOP Went Silent

Cherry Bomb, in an act true to VB nature, is still not allowed to post on the blog. Here is a post, authored by him……….

Things change, people move on.  WOP V was no different. For once the VB’s website went silent for 3 weeks after WOP V, no blog, no chit chat, no smack talk, no beat down.  A simple email about the course profile was all that was posted.  Humbled? Perhaps. Confused? by the new pecking order, it is possible.

Until April 12^th, the same day the Civil War started, the once dominant Choppy, finally posted his version of events of WOP V.  Well it is time to set the record straight, what really happened at the front, from someone who was there all weekend long, the CherryBomb.

It started as any other VB ride lots of chain greasing and polishing of bikes, thinking that would squeeze out a few more mph’s in their morning event.  Confusion over where to go and turn, Warlord taking out a few cohorts with everything, but his riding skill. 

The turn was made onto 215 and the girls should I say the VB’s needed to take off their panties, jackets, etc. So CB and Dead Toad ride slowly, yes so slow, Dead Toad was not dropped, need I say more.  Ever so slowly, waiting for the others to join up for the fateful day of Choppy’s demise.  The group rejoins with Choppy looking a bit how should I say, skeeerred.  Yes, Choppy only you and Cherry Bomb knew how close it was last year, 2008, 45 sec, on the first climb, then you pull over to gather your boys on the overlook at the second climb as Cherry bomb prepared to counter.  Fast forward to 2009.

So the group whittles down to 3, with Muzzin pushing the pace, not the oh so fearsome Choppy as many may of thought.  Still skeered, you bet!  Muzzin, an old schooler to the bitter end, blows himself up, with only Choppy and Cherry Bomb left to climb side by side.  For those of you that have not seen it, Choppy does suffer, breathes hard(breathing so hard that Cherry Bomb barely hears Muzzin yelling 100 yards aways as he closes on the duo), and tries to grab the jersey of Cherry Bomb to break his rhythm.  Never showing his card Cherry Bomb holds steady as the Chopster does 3 standup attacks going to a bigger gear as he tries to gap the old man.  Each time the gap is closed by CherryBomb.  THEN IT HAPPENS a never before seen event in the history of VB dom. Did you hear it??  Phil Leggett roaring from the mountain top, “the rubber band has snapped!!”

 Choppy blows up, body parts everywhere, Cherry accelerates putting an easy 20 seconds on the used to be, has been, as the new victor marches to the top.  Yes, a 45 year old, 180 lb triathlete, flatlander(there are no hills in Charleston); takes down a 35 year old, 140lb self professed master cyclist.  Makes you cringe just thinking about it, doesn’t it???

Not willing to give in, the Chopster, Muzzin and a few others try to run home down the hill, but even then the Cherry Bomb and his new sidekick Cannonball, aka Cottage of Wattage reel them in at the finish.  Dead Toad taking the sprint finish, thanking Cherry Bomb for not crushing him earlier in the day at the panty zone.

The funniest moment of WOP V was when NID pissed about his ride and utter lack of fitness after tax season, decides to drag his bicycle home, only to be saved by a few friends that saw it dragging behind the car in a shower of sparks…..

Day 2

Rumors fill the house that alliances are being formed to take down CherryBomb.  Tylenol litters the house as the VBers try to recover.  So another day beckons, and CherryBomb takes it out hard.  The group separates again to the strongest 3, Muzzin, Chopster, and CherryBomb, just before they turn left at the church.  Warlord stops for a quick prayer, as Cannonball, roars by, the Devil clearly rising in his legs.  Attacking again and again, the Cottage of Wattage tries to unhinge the cooly coifed one, piano legged, never stop smack talking,,,,Warlord.  He will not be denied, and Warlord tries to stay with the group, harassing the eager attackers, until yes as a good Cat 4 sometimes does, he throws his chain.  3 of the VBers nearly have to quit, almost falling off their bikes due to laughter. 

Then the ageless one,  Muzzin, attacks, and forces Cherry Bomb to cover the front the last few miles up to Holbert’s Cove.  Choppy is hiding,,,yes behind Cherry bomb.  Then the ride explodes as Muzzin takes a 30 sec lead into the climb and Choppy pushes on in eager pursuit 15 sec later.  Seeing no one to aid in the pursuit, and still laughing at the Cat 4esque move of Warlord, CherryBomb marches up the hill, 2 switch backs later, there’s Muzzin, 2 more there is Choppy, never giving up, our former valiant hero.  Cutting every switchback, utilizing his stand up attacks for all he is worth, redemption in his gunsight.  Cherrybomb hangs on, defiant as ever, knowing he has closed the gaps.  He waits for it to happen again, switchback to switchback, up, up they go, 20% grade.  2 turns to go, and yes, CABLUEY, SNAP, POP!!!  Where is Phil Liggett when you need him.  Ever the classy one, CherryBomb spins by to the stop sign, not wanting to further damage the fragile young man’s ego.  But yes, you heard it heard it before, let me repeat it for those at home, a 45 year old, 180 lb triathlete, flatlander drops the 35 year old 140lb master cyclist…Others amble up the hill, Muzzin a worthy 3^rd(next years pick for dominance, the man has an engine), Lukie(3 weeks post marathon),  Warlord( he has his chain back on), Cannonball, Dead Toad, King, and NID. 

The order changed that fateful March weekend, but still the dominant talk is of a guy named Street, that used to ride with the VB’s, all those present are left with the prior days vision of a man curled up on the side of the mountain, panting, broken, forever etched in their memory. 

  Next year Choppy will be lucky to get fourth behind Cherry, Muzzin and Lukie.

Ok, enough said, you can DQ me now Warlord.