Vicious Bikers

Wow…lit's been a while. Can someone please update me on what is going on down there? I ran in to Coach Sunday in Georgia and he said you guys lost your bikes or something.

 Hope you are all well.  BTW, I am still technically a male.

WarLord has released his lastest video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vn29DvMITu4

Choppy kept a secret from most of his friends and colleagues through the years. Like Forest Gump before him, Choppy is/was obsessed with Ping Pong. "I do this better than anything else I do," Choppy confided one day to me. "I sort of define myself by my ping pong game – it's who I am."

Choppy was so in love with his abilities that he constantly talked smack to his Asian co-workers in the lab. They, in turn, ridiculed his side burns and his grumpy demeanor, in Mandarin.

Flash forward, Chops comes to SC and lays down the same sort of smack talk to the VBs. "I can play ping pong," Street volunteered one day. "I'd kill you," Choppy replied. "It would be ugly, real ugly." The same conversation took place regularly over the years.

Finally, Street could take the verbal abuse no longer, and on Saturday, he tested the young Chopper out. Ever confident, Chops took the first game in a squeeker, as Street committed unforced error after unforced error.

But as the second game unfolded, Street's timing started to return, and he crushed the Chopster. In the rubber match, Street finally unleashed a full assault, hammering backhands and smashing forehand winners. As he put away the final point, Street looked across the table at a clearly crushed Choppy, and felt remorse.

Perhaps I should have let him win, Street thought – clearly this means more to him than to me. Ever the gracious winner, Street congratulated Choppy on his effort and sportsmanship, "you gave it your best, and that's all anybody can ask, Tom."

Dejected, Choppy has apparently left his job, put his home on the market and is contemplating an immediate move back to California.

Street feels a little guilty. "I wasn't trying to drive him out of town – I liked him, he was a really, really nice guy. I guess I'll just have to go back to letting him win."

Hey guys,

Sorry, I guess Coach Sundae and I got mixed up about the route. I turned right off Dixie onto Wildcat and assumed you all would follow.  Once we realized we had lost the group, it was too late.

I didn't realize we were doing the full Cross of Steel. But man, you guys must have been hammering. Finishing that whole loop just a minute or so slower than Coach and me riding tempo on the big loop is impressive.

Later,

Skregglet Papa G

I taught this guy everything he knows ….

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z19zFlPah-o&fmt=18

Saturdays Ride saw the establishment of a new VB Order. Choppy did not show up. Street went for a long slow run with a group of chubby recreational runners.

NatureBoy, WarLord, King, Muzzin, NID and Squirrel were present. After passing the Sippies on the Flats and one of them yelling the P word at us, we turned to do battle.

After a two mile chase, that dropped Squirrel and NID (and really hurt King) we pulled them in.

Coach Sundaedae asked us to go slow until we got the Fort at which point we would have 2 short races. Oh and did I mention that a very Sumo like Kong was with them? He was, but not for long.

Once we got to the Fort, Kong and King decided to go the other way. Very good idea for both of them.

Once the race started, WarLord attacked. NatureBoy with him and a chase by Muzzito and Sundaedae’s adopted son DannyBoy. Squirrel, Muzzin and NID, dropped hard. Once Muzzito(yea he dropped his Dad) and DannyBoy caught us, Muzzito melted like a snowcone in the Summer. The Two VB Strong Men held tight and took two places with DannyBoy for an overall VB win.

Point is, only NatureBoy and WarLord could hang. The New Order has been established.

Cherry Bomb, in an act true to VB nature, is still not allowed to post on the blog. Here is a post, authored by him……….

Things change, people move on.  WOP V was no different. For once the VB’s website went silent for 3 weeks after WOP V, no blog, no chit chat, no smack talk, no beat down.  A simple email about the course profile was all that was posted.  Humbled? Perhaps. Confused? by the new pecking order, it is possible.

Until April 12^th, the same day the Civil War started, the once dominant Choppy, finally posted his version of events of WOP V.  Well it is time to set the record straight, what really happened at the front, from someone who was there all weekend long, the CherryBomb.

It started as any other VB ride lots of chain greasing and polishing of bikes, thinking that would squeeze out a few more mph’s in their morning event.  Confusion over where to go and turn, Warlord taking out a few cohorts with everything, but his riding skill. 

The turn was made onto 215 and the girls should I say the VB’s needed to take off their panties, jackets, etc. So CB and Dead Toad ride slowly, yes so slow, Dead Toad was not dropped, need I say more.  Ever so slowly, waiting for the others to join up for the fateful day of Choppy’s demise.  The group rejoins with Choppy looking a bit how should I say, skeeerred.  Yes, Choppy only you and Cherry Bomb knew how close it was last year, 2008, 45 sec, on the first climb, then you pull over to gather your boys on the overlook at the second climb as Cherry bomb prepared to counter.  Fast forward to 2009.

So the group whittles down to 3, with Muzzin pushing the pace, not the oh so fearsome Choppy as many may of thought.  Still skeered, you bet!  Muzzin, an old schooler to the bitter end, blows himself up, with only Choppy and Cherry Bomb left to climb side by side.  For those of you that have not seen it, Choppy does suffer, breathes hard(breathing so hard that Cherry Bomb barely hears Muzzin yelling 100 yards aways as he closes on the duo), and tries to grab the jersey of Cherry Bomb to break his rhythm.  Never showing his card Cherry Bomb holds steady as the Chopster does 3 standup attacks going to a bigger gear as he tries to gap the old man.  Each time the gap is closed by CherryBomb.  THEN IT HAPPENS a never before seen event in the history of VB dom. Did you hear it??  Phil Leggett roaring from the mountain top, “the rubber band has snapped!!”

 Choppy blows up, body parts everywhere, Cherry accelerates putting an easy 20 seconds on the used to be, has been, as the new victor marches to the top.  Yes, a 45 year old, 180 lb triathlete, flatlander(there are no hills in Charleston); takes down a 35 year old, 140lb self professed master cyclist.  Makes you cringe just thinking about it, doesn’t it???

Not willing to give in, the Chopster, Muzzin and a few others try to run home down the hill, but even then the Cherry Bomb and his new sidekick Cannonball, aka Cottage of Wattage reel them in at the finish.  Dead Toad taking the sprint finish, thanking Cherry Bomb for not crushing him earlier in the day at the panty zone.

The funniest moment of WOP V was when NID pissed about his ride and utter lack of fitness after tax season, decides to drag his bicycle home, only to be saved by a few friends that saw it dragging behind the car in a shower of sparks…..

Day 2

Rumors fill the house that alliances are being formed to take down CherryBomb.  Tylenol litters the house as the VBers try to recover.  So another day beckons, and CherryBomb takes it out hard.  The group separates again to the strongest 3, Muzzin, Chopster, and CherryBomb, just before they turn left at the church.  Warlord stops for a quick prayer, as Cannonball, roars by, the Devil clearly rising in his legs.  Attacking again and again, the Cottage of Wattage tries to unhinge the cooly coifed one, piano legged, never stop smack talking,,,,Warlord.  He will not be denied, and Warlord tries to stay with the group, harassing the eager attackers, until yes as a good Cat 4 sometimes does, he throws his chain.  3 of the VBers nearly have to quit, almost falling off their bikes due to laughter. 

Then the ageless one,  Muzzin, attacks, and forces Cherry Bomb to cover the front the last few miles up to Holbert’s Cove.  Choppy is hiding,,,yes behind Cherry bomb.  Then the ride explodes as Muzzin takes a 30 sec lead into the climb and Choppy pushes on in eager pursuit 15 sec later.  Seeing no one to aid in the pursuit, and still laughing at the Cat 4esque move of Warlord, CherryBomb marches up the hill, 2 switch backs later, there’s Muzzin, 2 more there is Choppy, never giving up, our former valiant hero.  Cutting every switchback, utilizing his stand up attacks for all he is worth, redemption in his gunsight.  Cherrybomb hangs on, defiant as ever, knowing he has closed the gaps.  He waits for it to happen again, switchback to switchback, up, up they go, 20% grade.  2 turns to go, and yes, CABLUEY, SNAP, POP!!!  Where is Phil Liggett when you need him.  Ever the classy one, CherryBomb spins by to the stop sign, not wanting to further damage the fragile young man’s ego.  But yes, you heard it heard it before, let me repeat it for those at home, a 45 year old, 180 lb triathlete, flatlander drops the 35 year old 140lb master cyclist…Others amble up the hill, Muzzin a worthy 3^rd(next years pick for dominance, the man has an engine), Lukie(3 weeks post marathon),  Warlord( he has his chain back on), Cannonball, Dead Toad, King, and NID. 

The order changed that fateful March weekend, but still the dominant talk is of a guy named Street, that used to ride with the VB’s, all those present are left with the prior days vision of a man curled up on the side of the mountain, panting, broken, forever etched in their memory. 

  Next year Choppy will be lucky to get fourth behind Cherry, Muzzin and Lukie.

Ok, enough said, you can DQ me now Warlord. 

Out for an easy ride on Saturday afternoon, the elite VBs, LL and Street, came across Coach Sundae and a group of young sippies in tow. The group was clearly filled with awe when we turned around and deigned to allow them to ride with us. After turning around at Leesburg, we headed back to Hartsville Guard and Hilton Field. Little Muzzito, channeling his dad's antics, sprinted up the last hill on Wildcat while we were deep in conversation. He paid dearly for that little attack later. On Hurtsville Guard, LL attacked early and hard - I know what you're thinking and I was astounded too but I swear it really happened – and he destroyed the sippies.

Only Coach Sundae and Street stayed with him. LL tried to attack again near the gate but Sundae and Street responded with ridicule and punishment was summarily meted out. Still, LL was, yes, as difficult as it is to say it, stunningly, impressive. And the sippies, extremely unimpressive. A new year, new group of sippies but more of the same: VB domination.